This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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