Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
