I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
