ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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