stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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