people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
