the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
