You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
