he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
