i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
