i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
