these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
