put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
