You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
