I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
