You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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