Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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