Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Vodka?
Forever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
