DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
