new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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