Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
