best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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