i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
