Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
