Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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