the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
