i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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