Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
