i think my mom watched the whole time
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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