I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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