What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
