Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
