Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
