even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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