Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
