remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
