I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
