Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
