Don't make out with my wife yet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
