Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
