I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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