I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
