This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
