i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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