We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
