Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
