hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
