4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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