What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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