It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
