he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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