how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
