Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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