pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
